dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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