Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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