He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.