Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn