you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.