Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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