his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
