i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize