how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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