i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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