She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
