this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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