ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
