The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You pole danced in your parka.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
