It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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