Dual....:-)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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