He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize