and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
