You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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