Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
