that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
