Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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