I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She is in my trunk
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
