Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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