Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
