OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
