16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
