At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize