I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
