idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
