they need to just BURY HIM!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
