I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
