After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
