Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
