I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
