two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
