If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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