just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
