now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
