I just made out with a guy for $7.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
