I skipped work to stalk him.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
