how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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