Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
