so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
