I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
