My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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