Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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