This is not my ceiling
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
