my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
