note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
