i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
