i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
