It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
