in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
