I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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