you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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