last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
