ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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