she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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