Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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