YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
