I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
