You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
