I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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