she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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