How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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