Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
